It’s important to note that my outing on Independence Day came on the heels of two consecutive nights of staying up too late and probably having a few too many spirits. So, including the 4th of July…that makes three consecutive nights. I really can’t remember the last time I did something like that…it’s been a long time.
There were pounding headaches dealt with each morning after, but Sunday morning was different. Sure the signs of a hangover were there, but the lingering happiness from the previous night’s conversation kept the typical thumping at bay. And, the general relief from not having to work a doubleheader down at Victory Field probably contributed to my overall feeling of wellness.
Ahhh, who am I kidding? Even now I’m trying to downplay it, but I felt great! It really made me start to think about how I’ve been living my life.
It’s hard for me to admit (and more so to write about), but I’m about as pessimistic as it gets. My thoughts and feelings on Sunday morning really brought all of this to the forefront. Over the past few weeks I had been allowing worry (about many things) to control the way I was going about my days and nights. It’s really painful to be gripped constantly by worry, and eventually I had just had enough of feeling that way. So, I surrounded myself with friends during the holiday weekend and just let go of it all.
I couldn’t believe that I could feel so good after simply a few nights of not thinking about everything that had been on my mind. It became increasingly clear, though, that I’ve been spending way too much time thinking…and not doing. Over the holiday weekend, I did a few things…and it made me happy. In the days prior to that I had been sitting on my couch, thinking constantly about things that were bothering me.
Of course, this is just one of many examples that I’ve dealt with over the past few months…and years, actually. I’m only now starting to realize that this lack of “doing” plays into so many other things I’m working to change about my life. When I’m not doing something to help myself out, it’s usually because I’m wasting my time thinking too much…or smoking…which I’m also working to remedy.
My physical health is nowhere near ideal at the moment, but in recent weeks I have put myself on a much better diet, and am actually starting to see some minor results. I was trying to quit smoking at the same time, and didn’t quite make it. In typical Damo fashion, I beat myself up over it, but am trying to minimize the damage. Oh, and a gym membership has been crossing my mind as well…just gotta bite the bullet and actually do it. It’s been way too long since I’ve been in the gym.
Anyway, I truly believe many of the physical things I’m trying to change about myself begin with having the right mental approach. And, as you can probably tell, it’s a constant struggle. But, the good thing is that I’m able to identify it, and can continue working on it. Allowing myself to actually be happy about things that happen in my life is a good start…and thankfully my wild Independence Day weekend got me started down that path.
Now it’s all about keeping my attitude in check and continuing to be positive.
Easier said than done…
