OK…so maybe there are no rumors of my demise.  But, I really like saying that phrase for some reason.

The past month has been an absolute whirlwind.  Work in North Dakota, working to re-launch the Horizon League Network, assorted Tribe games at Victory Field (one being of the 16-inning variety), and fielding questions from new writer-friends that I’ve come to know from my quickly approaching contributions to The Mid-Majority.

After dinner, but before the fun part of our last night in Fargo. Gonzo seated front and center...as if you didn't know.

All this, while still trying to keep in touch with myself, which…as we all know by now…is maybe the most difficult thing for me to do.

Let’s start at the beginning…shall we?

The American Legion World Series in Fargo, ND, despite some horrid weather, was a huge success for all parties involved.  Good baseball, great numbers on our webcasts, and those from our company that attended may have made a new friend.  His name is Luis Gonzalez.  Perhaps you know him?

Can’t say enough times how normal this guys was…aside from, well, having gobs and gobs of money. He was an absolute trip.  Just full of funny stories and just lookin’ to make the best of being in Fargo.  Not to mention…having Mitts overhear him say to his broadcast partner, “These guys are fuckin’ cool,” made all of us feel pretty good about ourselves.

I also unexpectedly ran into an old friend of mine while I was in Fargo.  His name is John Hayes, and he’s the head coach of Terre Haute’s American Legion baseball team, Wayne Newton Post 346.  Seriously one of the nicest guys on the planet, and one of my favorite people to interview while I was working in the TV biz over there in Terre Haute.

John Hayes (right) and I at the 2009 American Legion World Series

It’s important to mention that his squad finished as the World Series Runner-Up in 2006, and had the entire town in a frenzy.  I had only been on the job a few months, so it was an exciting way to get things started.  Nonetheless, seeing each other in Fargo was a total shock to both of us, but it was really nice to be able catch up with him throughout the week.  And, if everything falls into place, I’ll be able to catch up with him at this event next year too!

As for the HLN launching…it’s getting there.  A number of people have been lending a hand to those of us that have taken on the project, and for that I’m incredibly grateful.  There are so many things that go into launching a website of this magnitude.  Unfortunately, at this point, I can’t go into detail on any of those things.  Don’t worry, you’ll get to see it soon enough.

The excitement of seeing it all come together has completely worn off for me, but right now the thing keeping me going is what the public is going to think of it when they see it.  Clearly, I think it’s going to be a homerun, and I’m confident the public will feel the same way.

The work at Victory Field has thankfully come to an end for the season.  It’s really fun, but at the same time an absolute pain in the ass for me in the months of April, May, and August when I’m trying to focus my work energies elsewhere.

BREAKING NEWS: I just received a text message from one of my brothers, while writing this, that he just saw an Amish girl and, uh, non-Amish guy in the pregnancy test area of his local WalMart.  Immediately feeling better about my own circumstances…that can’t be fun.

When things start to get a little hectic for me, the first thing I always abandon is my own well-being.  It’s hard for me to figure out how to balance everything together…but I imagine that’s the case for a lot of people.  I just wish it was easier, or there were some sort of tested method for being able to accomplish everything and not neglecting other things at the same time.  For me, when these types of situations arise, I usually end up also trying to take my “get it done now” attitude into more delicate issues concerning my personal life.  It doesn’t typically work, and I know this, but I continue to try force things…and often times end up hurting someone.  I did…again…but I’ve been hurt by this person too.  It happens far too frequently, but I think the hatchet may have finally been buried.  Let’s hope anyway, because I can’t keep going round-and-round.

I’m still not living life the way I want to be living it.  And, in fact, I’m further away from it than I was a few weeks ago.  Coincidentally, a few other people I know aren’t allowing themselves to live life to its fullest either…letting fear and worry affect the decisions they make.  It’s always easy for me to recognize it and make suggestions to them, and yet I struggle taking my own advice.

Time to nip this in the bud…or the demise may become real.

It appears from the swell in site traffic (and positive notes in my inbox) these past few days that I may have created something here that is interesting for you, and others, to read.  Thanks for stopping by, and I’m glad you’re enjoying it…but there’s more I want from you.  I’m one demanding son-of-a-gun, I know…but you’ll get used to it.

I just want each of you to keep in mind what this site is all about.  If you’ve read this page on From the Desk of Damo, then I encourage you to remember these words…

From the Desk of Damo is a metaphor for the things I see, hear, and feel…and I hope you’ll be willing to share your stories as well.

It seems people have taken a liking to my last entry, where I described how I got away from it all and cleared my head (again) with a solo drive to parts only somewhat-known.  While there were many layers to the story, at its basic level, that entry detailed what we commonly know these days as a “road trip.”

Perhaps I should have been a little more straight-forward and said, “Have you ever done something like this before?”  Or, “How do you get away from the grind and clear your head?  Tell me about it!!”  But, hey, gimme a break…I’m still trying to hit my stride with all of this stuff.  The point is, I know some of you out there have similar stories to share, and this site is as much about you as it is about me.

So…no need to be shy.  Feel free to pass along your thoughts/stories/comments/questions.  As I’ve said before, I’ll protect your anonymity (if necessary)…and we’ll get the conversation rolling.  Just e-mail me:  damon AT damonlewis DOT net

On a side-note…I mentioned before that this week I’m heading to Fargo, North Dakota for the 2009 American Legion World Series.  It’s come to my attention that there will be 2 special guests helping “call the action” throughout the weekend, in the form of Jeff Kent and Luis Gonzalez.  I’ll do my best to get some pictures with them, and will hopefully have a couple funny stories to share as well.

Truth of the matter is, I pulled a fast one last night and left town to spend an evening in another city a couple hours away.  I told various people here in Indianapolis various reasons for why I wouldn’t be around, purposely failed to notify other acquaintances that I was spending an evening in the same city that they live in, and just left everyone (and everything) behind.  Yeah…I lied, but so what?  It didn’t hurt anyone.  You lie too…and don’t you dare say otherwise.

I had the chance to reconnect with a young lady I met a few weeks ago.  We had a really nice time, but those details really aren’t necessary in this form.  The reason for this entry has to do with the events leading up to, and following the entirety of my night.

I’d known for almost a week that I was going to get away on Wednesday night, but that didn’t keep me from nearly throwing it all out the window in the hours leading up to my departure.  Several times I considered the idea of calling and canceling, but eventually…against the advice I was getting from my brain…I hopped in the car and hit the road.

It didn’t take long for me to realize I had made the right decision.  See, I’m one of those people that really likes to drive.  Doesn’t matter if it’s alone, or with someone else, but I like to take off and only have a general idea of where I’m going.  There’s just something about music-blaring, sun-setting car rides that give me (and maybe you?) the ability to clear my head.  Once I arrived, I was in the perfect frame of mind to enjoy the evening.

I realize that this entry is one of several recently that tend to read like a self-help book, but I guess that’s just where I’m at right now.  A few weeks ago, it was more about re-learning to do things for my physical health, and that’s going really well!  Now, I suppose, I’m shifting a little bit into doing more things for my social well-being.  It’s not that I have any sort of problem in social settings, but I guess you could call me “socially bored.”  And please, don’t mistake that for “socially boring”…because that’s just not true.  Don’t believe me…?  Ask around.

Another reason for getting happy?  Well…at work we’re on the verge of relaunching the Horizon League Network…which is exciting.  And, in recent weeks I’ve had a fantastic time learning more about what I’ll be contributing to The Mid-Majority during the 2009-2010 college basketball season.  Both of these things have required me to use my brain in a very critical manner…something I really enjoy doing…even if it hurts.

It puts a smile on my face when I think about how much the tenor of this blog is likely to change once the college athletic season gets underway in a few weeks.  Before that, however, I’ll be traveling to Fargo, North Dakota for the 2009 American Legion World Series.  It’s going to be a really fun event to webcast and, honestly, I don’t think there’s a better time to visit a place like Fargo than in the middle of August.  Wait!  That means my little Google Maps Widget at the bottom of the page will finally switch cities for the first time in site history!  We’re going places people…GOING PLACES!

For now, enjoy this piece of musical goodness from The Wallflowers.  It’s one of my faves… I’ve Been Delivered

It’s exciting, you know, to see yourself confront something head on and have that feeling that you’re going to win

That’s kind of what it’s all about for me…winning. But life’s challenges aren’t always black and white, or end up resulting in a “win” or a “loss.” Most times there is a lot of grey area.

I realize most of you are probably thinking, “Yeah, I know this…how can you be just now figuring this out?” Well, I have a feeling that it comes from how dedicated I’ve always been to what I do professionally. When working, things are so much more cut and dry. You do what’s necessary to get the job done…and when it’s done, you feel good about it. Well, usually you do. For so long, my profession has been my everything. It’s one of many things I’m trying to change about my life.

The toughest part about trying to distance myself from work all the time, while trying to increase my personal fun factor, is feeling really left out. There’s no doubt that much of this is a result of leaving myself out for so long. See, when I worked in local television this was never an issue. Let me explain…

When you work in local teevee, there is an instant camaraderie with your co-workers. As far as the people that are similar in age and have a similar position within the station…you’re all poor, you’re probably just a couple years out of college (or fresh out of college), which means you’re interested in going out…a lot. And, anyone within the business will tell you, that people on the outside don’t really “get it” and can’t relate to many of the things we “journalists” go through. I don’t necessarily believe that now…but I did then. The point is that there are so many common denominators in local television that it’s really easy to get along with your co-workers. Everyone strokes each others ego…and it’s easy to feel like those same co-workers are your only friends because they “understand” you.

I should note that this is the way I always felt about it, and while others may not be able to relate…I’m sure there are plenty of others reading this, nodding their head in agreement.

The question I never asked myself was, “Are these people really my friends?” I never really thought about it until now. And why am I thinking about it now? Well, I’m finding that even though I moved back to Indianapolis 18 months ago…where my “friends” are at…that I may have missed the boat, and that some of my friend-ships have sailed. Good God that was cheesy. I’m sorry for that…but not enough to keep you from having to suffer through it like I am.

Back here in Indy…the work crew already has established circles of friends. Don’t get me wrong, I’m usually included in those circles (and I knew some of the people I work with BEFORE I started working with them), but it’s just different. At the same time a lot of the people who I went to college with, and became friends with during those years, have obviously found new people to hang with while I was spending years chasing down the TV-dream in places like Lafayette and Terre Haute. Of course, a lot of my really close friends chose to move away from Indianapolis after school. Many of them moved to the same city, so they’ve had the opportunity to continue their relationships with each other in the same way that those who never left Indy after school have continued their relationships with each other. Do I envy that? Yes. Was that confusing? Double yes.

I made these decisions and have to take responsibility for them. But, it’s still frustrating to feel like you’ve gone years without really making any friends. Plenty of acquaintances…but no friends. It’s never really been my style to surround myself with a wide array of people. I’m more into the tight-knit, small circle of peeps.

It’s a fluid situation, and I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually. I just hope it’s soon.

Maybe you understand what I’m talking about and would like to share…?

There were pounding headaches dealt with each morning after, but Sunday morning was different. Sure the signs of a hangover were there, but the lingering happiness from the previous night’s conversation kept the typical thumping at bay. And, the general relief from not having to work a doubleheader down at Victory Field probably contributed to my overall feeling of wellness.

Ahhh, who am I kidding? Even now I’m trying to downplay it, but I felt great! It really made me start to think about how I’ve been living my life.

It’s hard for me to admit (and more so to write about), but I’m about as pessimistic as it gets. My thoughts and feelings on Sunday morning really brought all of this to the forefront. Over the past few weeks I had been allowing worry (about many things) to control the way I was going about my days and nights. It’s really painful to be gripped constantly by worry, and eventually I had just had enough of feeling that way. So, I surrounded myself with friends during the holiday weekend and just let go of it all.

I couldn’t believe that I could feel so good after simply a few nights of not thinking about everything that had been on my mind. It became increasingly clear, though, that I’ve been spending way too much time thinking…and not doing. Over the holiday weekend, I did a few things…and it made me happy. In the days prior to that I had been sitting on my couch, thinking constantly about things that were bothering me.

Of course, this is just one of many examples that I’ve dealt with over the past few months…and years, actually. I’m only now starting to realize that this lack of “doing” plays into so many other things I’m working to change about my life. When I’m not doing something to help myself out, it’s usually because I’m wasting my time thinking too much…or smoking…which I’m also working to remedy.

My physical health is nowhere near ideal at the moment, but in recent weeks I have put myself on a much better diet, and am actually starting to see some minor results. I was trying to quit smoking at the same time, and didn’t quite make it. In typical Damo fashion, I beat myself up over it, but am trying to minimize the damage. Oh, and a gym membership has been crossing my mind as well…just gotta bite the bullet and actually do it. It’s been way too long since I’ve been in the gym.

Anyway, I truly believe many of the physical things I’m trying to change about myself begin with having the right mental approach. And, as you can probably tell, it’s a constant struggle. But, the good thing is that I’m able to identify it, and can continue working on it. Allowing myself to actually be happy about things that happen in my life is a good start…and thankfully my wild Independence Day weekend got me started down that path.

Now it’s all about keeping my attitude in check and continuing to be positive.

Easier said than done…

If I’m wrong about this, by all means let me know what YOU do to celebrate Independence Day.

For the last six years, however, July 4th has meant one thing for me…work. This year’s “festivities” began much like the last few, but Mother Nature stepped in and finally allowed me to celebrate on my own terms. The results were, well…keep reading.

If you live in the Midwest you’re probably already aware that it rained, and rained, and rained on Independence Day. For me, that meant waiting a good 7+ hours for the Indianapolis Indians to finally decide to postpone their scheduled home game. Bad news for all the fans, and the Indians as well, but good news for Damo. I (along with the rest of our crew) was out the door at Victory Field before 9pm, and ready to take advantage of a very rare full night of debauchery on the 4th of July. Sorry Frontman, I forgot to call.

Anyway, the evening began at the newly renovated pad belonging to my good friend, Mitts (if you know Mitts, figure out a way to see his new place…absolute baller). The evening progressed quickly, with more people showing up as hours passed. Bottles were emptied, bags of wine were slapped, and insanely funny conversations were had. Soon though, many of those in attendance got the itch to hit the bars. I wasn’t one of them, and instead opted to head to another friend’s house to cap off the night. It was a risky choice, given that there were some tensions already displayed between the two of us earlier in the night.

The conversation that ensued at this person’s house was interesting, to say the least. We laughed, expressed differences of opinion, I tried to leave at one point…only to end up back in my chair on the back porch, talking until the early morning hours. While this isn’t the first time we’ve talked in such depth, it’s the first time that we’ve shared some of the things we shared about each other.

It was also the first time, in a long time, that I’ve really felt good about something. But, I always try to keep myself from getting too high or too low about anything. Unfortunately I’ve been really, really low…about almost everything…for a long, long time. So when I woke up Sunday morning, I had a tough decision to make. Would I allow myself to be overly happy about the things I had been told only a few hours earlier? Or would I try to keep it all in perspective and muddle through another lazy day?

While thinking about this I realized that more often than not, I don’t allow myself to be happy about a lot of things…for fear of being disappointed. And that, my friends, is no way to live a life.

To be continued…

Author’s note: The above statement is not entirely true…but I just had to take a swipe at local television. It’s on the brain today, thanks to the ongoing conversations we typically have. I know I shouldn’t take my frustrations out on others, but Charlie can handle it. He’s a big boy.

Charlie is in the local media here in Indianapolis, and a person that has made several transitions in my life…from drinking buddy, to mentor, to friend.

Now, before you start judging him as the prototypical MSM robot, understand that the crew at his teevee station is trying their hand at this whole video on the web thing. Their sports department has sort of been re-branded through a separate website, complete with individual blogs and everything. Charlie even has a Twitter account! Innovative for sure, but the jury is still out on its success. Either way, don’t go labeling the guys at IndySportsNation…they’re no set of cookie cutters.

But anyway, it’s always fun to hang with Charlie because I can count on him to fill me in on the latest rumblings in the local media circles. Sad…I know…but I still like to hear about who’s pissing off who, who’s looking for a new job, and so on. Charlie never disappoints. Never. While I can’t divulge the dirty details…trust me on this one. You do know that you can trust me, right?

As I mentioned before, Charlie has worn a few different hats as it relates to my life. Maybe he never realized it, but it’s true. We worked together for awhile, then I started myself down a career path similar to his, but took a detour a couple years back. It took awhile for me to realize it, but Charlie has become a really good friend. Even when I moved away from Indianapolis, he’d check in to see how I was doing, or figure out a way to meet up and have a beer. And once I moved back to Indianapolis, he’s always found time to do the same…despite the challenging task of juggling work life and family life.

You may be wondering what makes him, as I put it, “The Hardest Working Man in the Indianapolis Media.” Well, knowing how much effort he puts into work is one thing…and that’s probably enough for me to feel comfortable giving him that title, but it’s more than that. It’s everything I described above. “Working hard” doesn’t always have to be about “work.” That’s something I’ve been realizing more and more lately, and something that I think Charlie realized a long time ago. He works hard at his job, but also works hard in his personal life…helping raise a family, and being a great friend to many more people than just yours truly.

I’m fortunate to know a little bit about a lot of the media-types in Indianapolis, and few work as hard as he does. Combine that with everything I’ve just told you about him, and it makes me confident that the title of this entry is more than appropriate.

But what if I had an experiment, and could guarantee you no side effects? Or, at the very least, minor side effects such as slight abdominal pains from continuous laughter? Would you be alright with the possibility of banging the palm of your hand against your forehead from time to time, out of sheer frustration? I know I’m willing to make that kind of sacrifice.

Believe it or not, that’s exactly what I’m working on here at From the Desk of Damo. It’s an experiment of sorts, to see if relaying the things I see, hear, and feel in my own life…can actually stir other people to share stories from their own lives.

Of course, to know if any of this is possible, it’s going to take some help from you…and you…and also you.

Understand, however, that not all of this is going to be fun and games. Some of it will be, don’t get me wrong…but I’m here to share the good, the bad, and the ugly. I’ve found in recent weeks how powerful it is to truly be conscious of my own actions. Now I’m curious to know if that idea extends beyond me, myself, and I.

There will be personal stories mixed in with thoughts on all sorts of things. Sports, politics, current events, things going on in Indianapolis (that’s where I live, if you didn’t already know), all sorts of stuff to hopefully keep you reading, and keep you thinking.

Go ahead and look around the site. You’ll find that even though there isn’t a tidy little “comment section” below each and every post, it’s really easy to get in touch with me.  Just click the “Contact” tab on the navigation bar.  There you’ll find my e-mail address…dangerous, I know, but if you’ve got something you need to get off your chest…shoot me a message, and I just might put it on the site (protecting your anonymity, of course).

You’ll also see at the bottom the front page that I can be found on Twitter, and I’ve got a hip little map widget which I’ll update as my location changes.  I may live in Indianapolis, but my job (read more in the “About” section) takes me to many different places throughout the year. Having a general idea of where I’m at may explain some of the who, what and why I’m writing what I’m writing.  You can also look through older posts, either by their category, or the time-frame they were written.  There are also some feeds from other sites where you can find my work. If you like college basketball, you’ll like those sites.

So whattaya say? Feel like experimenting?